Down below are phrases which you should NEVER say to your child:
- “You are worthless”
We as parents are the mental image of a child, so hearing that it is worthless will only damage his self-confidence and send him on an endless journey in which he will seek validation and approval from the outside world. Therefore, it is better to tell them “it is not your day” or “you will do it better the next time”, or “nobody is perfect.”
- “Stop crying right now”
Children cry when they know they are going to be punished, and it is an emotion that comes out even if there is no reason to cry. The child doesn’t have full control over its emotions, so it has the right to express how it feels. Telling it to stop crying will make it suppress its emotions and keep everything inside, which is worse.
- “I’m disappointed in you”
Parents tend to say this when the child already feels bad about his actions. Never let them feel as if you’re disappointed in them but instead, guide them back to the right path and help them right their mistakes.
- “You’re not (something) enough”
Saying this will only paint a restricted picture of themselves in their head, and make them feel as if they are lacking something in order to be good enough for themselves.
- “Big boys/girls do not get scared”
Fear is an emotion which reminds us to be more careful, so telling them that they should suppress their fear will only teach them to run away from it, not face their fear or problems in later life. Tell them it is okay to be scared and encourage them to do the right thing whenever they are scared.